But really there were five of us
by Raven-Skype
Summary: They say I’m plain, they say I’m boring, they say I’m nothing but a Muggle orphan. They’re even scared enough to say there were only four Marauders. Well, hey? Guess what? They lied. My name is Delilah Sparrow, and this is my story.


**BUT REALLY THERE WERE FIVE OF US.**

_**PART 1:**_

**DISCLAIMER:**

**Anything you recognise isn't mine.**

**SUMMARY:**

**They say I'm plain, they say I'm boring, they say I'm nothing but a Muggle orphan. They're even scared enough to say there were only four Marauders. Well, hey? Guess what? **_**They lied. **_**My name is Delilah Sparrow, and this is my story.**

**1.**

**I wish love existed in my world.**

Song: Born to be wild, ACDC

_Get your motor runnin'  
Head out on the highway  
Lookin' for adventure  
And whatever comes our way  
Yeah Darlin' go make it happen  
Take the world in a love embrace  
Fire all of your guns at once and,  
explode into space_

_Like true natures child,_

_We were born, born to be wild._

_We can climb so high…_

_I never, wanna die…_

A tall, old, man with a beard like frosted snow and icy blue eyes wove between the English-style houses, muttering under his breath as he walked. He was wearing an incredibly odd assortment of clothes, including a large pointed witches hat and a matching purple cloak with silvery stars embroided on its surface.

He looked up slowly, almost hesitantly, at a collection of buildings across the road labelled "Orphanage", then walked more purposefully towards it, looking over his shoulder as he crossed the street.

The orphanage was surrounded by a slightly mangled iron fence, which looked like it had been climbed unsuccessfully many times before. The orphanage itself was made of red, rectangular bricks, the door a cheery yellow which still somehow managed to look cold in the soft glow of the street lamps.

The man stopped before the door, hesitated, and then knocked three times, taking off his hat with his other hand as he did so.

He didn't have to wait long; soon after he knocked footsteps could be heard climbing stairs further in the building along with a rather bossy voice shouting muffled orders.

Suddenly the door opened, revealing a short, stout woman with a pouchy face that looked remarkably like that of a toad.

The woman stared at him for a second, drinking in his appearance, then she screamed and slammed the door, locking it in the process.

"We are _not _having one of them again!" she shrieked, as the man calmly brandished a knotted stick, pointed it at the door and said "_Alohamora_" still in a perfectly serene tone.

The door creaked open, and the old man entered, ignoring the protests of the toad woman named Mrs Cole, who he had met only once before.

"No" She moaned "_Please_ professor, not again"

The old man took no interest, but strode purposely towards the last door at the end of the hallway, not seeming to see the children that peered through cracks, who whispered the same name over and over again, "_Delilah_"

He reached the door and stopped before it, calmly making eye contact with Mrs. Cole.

"You didn't really think she was normal, did you?" he said, then, without waiting for an answer, swept into the room, locking the door behind him.

A girl of no more than eleven sat huddled in a corner, her knees pressed firmly to her chest. She had bright, clear blue eyes, with eyelashes so long that they touched her cheek when she looked down, and raven black hair, which spun in wild curls to her waist.

She looked up as he entered and shifted into a crouch, which reminded the man forcefully of a cat at bay.

"Who are you?" She asked, her voice was clear and bell like, even though she said it somewhat ferociously.

"My name is professor Dumbledore" Replied the old man, still perfectly calm, though if looks could kill he would've been burnt to a cinder right there and then.

"What do you want?" she hissed at him, as hostile as she was before, but now she looked slightly frightened.

"To offer you a place at Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry" He answered innocently, sitting down on one of the camp beds that had been set up in the corner.

She tensed even more as he said this; she looked like she wanted to bolt.

"You took Tom Riddle" She said "You turned him bad; I don't care who you are or what you can do-"

"I did not turn Tom Riddle bad" Dumbledore replied "He divulged in arts deeply forbidden, dark arts, which most of us only dream of. It's no-one's fault but his."

The girl stood up rapidly, she was very short, and the ratty yellow dress she wore reached her ankles, but that did not make her any less threatening when she fixed her blazing blue eyes on his.

"But you still taught him." She snarled "It's your fault he wants us all dead"

The headmaster's eyebrows rose slightly "And what would give you the impression that Tom Riddle wanted to kill you?"

She froze for what seemed like an eternity, staring at him with her eyes ablaze and her hands clenched into fists.

"He came out of the fire" She said, and Dumbledore was surprised that her voice did not waver in the slightest. "He spoke to _her_, said he'd be coming back soon, and that it wouldn't be good when he did."

"Who did he speak to?" Asked Dumbledore, ever polite

"Mrs Toa-. Mrs Cole" she said, changing the name from 'Mrs Toad' halfway through

"Hmmmm" mumbled Dumbledore "_Very_ interesting" He then fell quiet, absorbed in his own thoughts.

"If I went there, to your school I mean," Interrupted Delilah, "how long could I stay there for?"

Dumbledore was surprised to see that the girls face held absolutely no trace of fear whatsoever, and it took him a while to answer,

"You are an orphan, correct?" He asked, staring at her with an intensity most found unnerving.

She stared right back, however, and Dumbledore felt the first hint of fear he'd had in a long time.

"Well, _duh_, why the hell would anyone choose to live _here_? I mean, most of us only stay because we have nowhere else to go…." She trailed off, obviously feeling as though she'd said too much.

"When did your parents die?" Said Dumbledore unexpectedly, causing the girl to wince and shift back into a crouch.

"Last week" She mumbled and Dumbledore was yet again surprised, this time because of her lack of tears.

He didn't apologise or make any reference to her grief at all, instead he answered her earlier question, "Your have to come back for the summer holidays but otherwise you can stay the whole year round."

She looked up at him, her expression was not happy, however, as most would have been, but suspicious, and her next words were very blunt and to the point, and on the whole, very business like.

"Prove it"

Dumbledore's eyebrows travelled further up his head

"Prove what?" He asked, re-adjusting his half moon spectacles

"All of it" she whispered back.

He considered her, then with a slight flick of his wand the tea chest at the foot of her bed caught fire.

She leapt up so quickly out of her crouch that he didn't see her; she then lifted her hands, palm up, a look of great concentration on her face.

Water flew from her palms, dousing the flames instantly, though leaving the tea chest rather soggy and mangled looking.

She ripped open the lid and scrambled through her possessions, looking to see that no permanent damage was done. She pulled out a plain metal yo-yo, a map, a sea shell, and a photo frame, which she snatched away from Dumbledore, staring at it greedily, though at the same time making sure she was the only one who could see it.

Then she looked up. Her eyes were still blazing, but not, this time, with hate. Instead it was hope that raged furiously within the sockets, and her voice gained a new tone when she next spoke.

"Fine" she said "I'll do it"

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

Song: Eyes on fire, Blue foundation

_I'll seek you out,  
Flay you alive  
One more word and you won't survive  
And I'm not scared of your stolen power  
I see right through you any hour_

I won't soothe your pain  
I won't ease your strain  
You'll be waiting in vain  
I got nothing for you to gain

I walked along the London streets, keeping my eyes peeled for a pub called The Leaky Cauldron, that apparently only witches and wizards could see. Professor Dumbledore had explained how to get to Diagon alley, as well as giving me a small bag of wizarding gold that came from the students fund at Hogwarts.

I felt nervously in my pockets now and then, making sure that the few possessions I owned were still with me. I still wore the hideous yellow dress with the overly large ribbon around the middle, but Dumbledore had given me some brown lace up boots he said were made from dragon hide.

Finally I found the pub I was looking for. Its exterior was shabby and worn out, mostly in need of repairing, but inside it was comfortable and warm, and despite myself I began to relax.

"What canna do f'yer?" asked the barman, his words made partially incoherent by the fag he was smoking.

"I need to get to Diagon alley" I told him truthfully, and with a flick of his head I interpreted to mean 'follow me' he led me to a door at the very back of the room.

I followed him nervously, peering over my shoulder more than once at a man whose skin was a deep, royal, blue and at a woman playing cards that had antlers growing out of her head.

"Name's Tom b'th'way" Said the barman, who was currently tapping bricks in a sequence I tried vainly to memorize.

I grunted in response, then watched in awe as the bricks shuffled themselves sideways, creating a large, domed archway, through which I could see the street beyond.

I turned around to say thanks to Tom, but to my surprise he wasn't there, I looked around once before shrugging and walking forward.

There was so much to see, my head was swinging back and forth so frequently that it was beginning to hurt. I was still having trouble believing that this wasn't just some absurd grief-induced dream.

Eventually, I stopped at a shop called Flourish and Blotts, where I bought my textbooks and an interesting book called "How to be Animagi" which had a picture of a man and a boar, and apparently taught you how to turn into an animal.

I left Flourish and Blotts and turned down the street of rickety buildings, eventually finding a shop called "Olivanders" which sold wands.

I entered the shop, a little bell tinkling to announce my arrival. The building was narrow, the walls lined with shelves that were crammed somewhat haphazardly with boxes I took to be wands.

I waited. And waited. I guessed that whoever owned the shop hadn't heard my arrival, so I stood awkwardly in a corner, tapping my foot slightly and reading the book on Animagi.

"Ahhh, I thought I heard you come in" Said a voice, causing me to jump at least two feet in the air, slamming the book shut with so much force that the building shook.

A man stood behind me. He was old, that much was clear, he was so wrinkled that he resembled a dried prune. He was thin enough that his bones were visible under his skin, but his blue eyes twinkled merrily under a wisp of white hair.

The man chuckled "I remember your father, Delilah, Yes, eight inches, yew and dragon heartstring, correct?"

I froze. Parents were still a touchy subject with me. And my father most defiantly had _not_ been a wizard.

"My dad was a Muggle" I told him bluntly, and then, with a shock, I realised something. He seemed to know who I was, but I hadn't told him my name.

"How do you know me anyway?" I asked suspiciously, ready to call on magic should I need it.

"Your voice is hard not to recognise" He said, then in seeing my confused look added, "You sound just like your mother"

At the last statement I pulled my magic so close to the surface that I could almost smell it. "_How do you know my mother?_"

At this he smiled and mumbled so I only just heard him "I never forget a face"

He turned towards the counter, and was about to enter the labyrinth of boxes when he turned quite suddenly to face me again

"which hand is your wand hand?" he asked, I simply gave him a withering look and answered as best I could.

"Err, well I'm left handed?"

He nodded slightly then declared _perfectly_ normally that he would find me a wand and disappeared, coming back moments later with a brown box, inside of which lay a beech stick on a bed of tissue paper.

I stared at it incredulously for a few moments before he seemed to realise I had no idea of what to do.

"Well, give it a wave!" He said, nodding vigorously

"Oh, I…err…" I spluttered, then picked up the wand and waved it above my head in a fashion that made me feel completely deranged.

I'd barely completed one circle when he snatched it back off me, mumbling and walking back into the maze of shelves, returning almost immediately with another two boxes.

"Twelve inches, oak and unicorn hair" he said, indicating the longer of the two, which was green and silver, with ugly, two headed pythons wound around the base and lid. He then moved his finger to the second box, which was elaborately with decorated red and gold lions, and altogether looked much more pleasing than the first box.

"Nine inches, cherry wood and phoenix feather", he explained, seeing my curious glance at the lion-box. "Try the other one first"

I did so, but this time, instead of nothing more serious than my face reddening, every single glass object in the shop shattered. Including the windows, the candelabra, the old mans glasses, and the photo frame in my pocket.

I snarled and shoved my hand in, snagging the picture by the corner, but in the process cutting my hand quite severely on the shards of glass.

The stunned man still held the oak wand in his hand, staring at me with open-mouthed disbelief as I called upon my magic and healed my hand and the photo, within which stood the perfectly still and lifeless portraits of my dead parents.

"H-h-h-how?" Stuttered the man, I noticed that he was grasping the wooden counter for support "No _child_ should be able to do that!"

"Do what?" I asked slightly fearfully, clutching the photo to my chest

"Use magic at _will_"

I looked at him, not really intending to answer.

He sighed deeply and turned back around and bent down behind the counter, seconds later emerging with the red and gold box, from which he took a russet coloured wand, then handed it to me hilt-first.

I waved it somewhat hesitantly, still holding the photo frame in my right hand with nervous strength, but there was no need.

As soon as I touched the wand I felt a strange warmth travel up my arm, as well as a tingling sensation which reminded me slightly of pins and needles.

All of the lights that had exploded, as well as the windows and the mans glasses repaired themselves, and it became lighter than it should've been inside the shop.

But, queerest of all, was the fact that my photo was shaking in my hand. Hesitantly I bent to look at it, only to nearly drop it in surprise.

The picture was _moving_

My mother was waving shyly, her black hair whipping about in the breeze. My father was playing with the baby version of me, tickling under my armpits and laughing heartily.

But, there in my mothers arms was another child, it's face covered by blankets, that had defiantly not been there before.

I stared at in shock for a few seconds, before looking up and meeting the wand merchants gaze.

"That wand was your mothers" He said simply "You won't need to pay for it."

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

Song: Kids, MGMT

_The water is warm,  
but it's sending me shivers.  
A baby is born,  
crying out for attention.  
Memories fade,  
like looking through a fogged mirror  
Decisions to decisions are made and not fought  
But I thought,  
this wouldn't hurt a lot.  
I guess not._

I looked, for what must've been the hundredth time this morning, down at the small, paper train ticket, which quite clearly stated '_Platform 9 ¾'._

I stood between platform nine and ten at kings cross station, completely and utterly lost, with an annoying logical voice in my head saying that this was some complete bastards sick idea of a joke. Any moment now Mrs Toad would pop out from behind one of the dividers between the platforms and laugh her fat ass off at me.

I went up to the closest divider and placed my hands on the bricks, intending to look behind it for a certain laughing frog woman. But just as I'd placed my weight against the barrier, it fell away, leaving me stumbling and swearing, and also blinded by the sunlight streaming in from somewhere above.

"Alright?" asked a voice, and I felt a steadying arm grasp my elbow. I blinked rapidly to try and gain my sight back.

"It's a bit disorientating the first time" His tone was distinctly masculine, and it sounded kind of familiar, like a dream half forgotten.

Slowly, painstakingly, objects began to swim into focus. Firstly, the light came from the sun, which was high above, shining playfully down on the station and the cherry red steam engine parked on the side of it.

Then I saw the people, most were dressed in long cloaks and hat some form of pointed hat, but others, like me were still in Muggle clothes. They all looked ruffled and slightly shocked, an expression I was sure played on my features as well.

Lastly I saw the boy before me. He was about my age with kind features, His hair was black and straight, incredibly unkempt and falling in his eyes, which were a bright, vivid blue, just like mine.

The boy looked _exactly_ like me.

He seemed to realise our similarities at the same time, for his mouth dropped nearly to the floor, as did mine, completing our nearly identical expressions of surprise.

Then, to my complete shock, he uttered my name, "_Delilah_?"

I stared at him, not even bothering with my wand but reaching for the magic I seemed to find so much easier than everyone else.

"How do you know my name?" I asked bluntly, I felt my eyes blaze and my hands clench into fists at my sides.

He didn't answer my question, I wasn't even sure if he'd heard me.

He was muttering to himself under his breath, somewhat incoherently, shooting puzzled glances in my direction now and then.

Finally he looked up, completely dis-believingly and uttered "But you're a _Muggle_!"

I simply rolled my eyes at him "Oh, _really_?" I asked sarcastically

I was rewarded by a crimson flush rapidly rising in his cheeks "I-is your last name sparrow?"

With a flourish, I extracted my wand, flicking it up to his neck casually and tapping my foot of the ground "Yes. Explain."

He stood there dumfounded for a minute, before gulping and saying "I think we better sit down. This could take a while"

Five minutes later we had found ourselves an empty carriage and were currently seated opposite each other, though my wand was no longer at his throat.

He sighed and relaxed back into his seat "Don't interrupt okay? And I can't explain everything, 'cos I don't know _everything_ and they won't answer my questions."

He gave me a calculating look and I nodded slowly, signalling my consent for him to continue

"Okay, well, it really begins about sixteen years ago, when a man called Thomas Potter and a woman called Felicity Sparrow got married." I jumped slightly at the mention of my parents, but managed to recover before he noticed "five years after that Felicity gave birth to twins" He looked directly at me when he said this, evidently noticing my confusion "One of them was born dead, and the other, is me" I froze "But. Just when my mother had finished grieving over the loss of the second twin, something strange happened. She opened her eyes.

The strange thing is, is that the girl had no heartbeat, and nor was she breathing. But there she was, alive as anything…"

"Well, as you can imagine, my parents were scared. They were magic folk, but still… nothing like this has ever been seen before, and it unnerved them"

"And so they preformed a very difficult piece of magic, permanently changing the appearance of a young, Muggle couple so they were the spitting image of themselves.

"They then refined the memories of the couple so that they thought they were Felicity and Thomas potter, and placed the girl in their care.

"I stayed with my real parents, who, unknown to the false ones, watched the girl's progress closely. They saw that she was different. Frighteningly so."

"For one, she could cut herself off. Totally and completely ignore her senses, emotions and thoughts. But she could even, well, leave her body. No-one but she knows what happens when she does.

She was sent to a Muggle school, and attended tae kwon do class in the evenings, you should've heard mom and dad talking about her, you'd think she'd won the quiditich world championships single handed," He looked at me, obviously noticing my confusion. " anyway, the false parents decided that they would not tell her about magic until she could do it herself."

"Time passed and the girl still showed no sign that she could perform magic. Even her real parents eventually gave up hope. She was a Muggle, though a special one at that.

"But then Voldemort showed up at their house, obviously thinking that they were the real parents of the girl. He killed them. But she escaped.

"The girl was found at a train station the next morning, and sent to an orphanage in London, where she _should've_ stayed until the Mistress could arrange a marriage.

"But she disappeared last night, and my parents couldn't find her"

He looked to my wand and back again, but I posed no threat. It was as if a sudden paralysis had overcome me, and even any small movement was impossible.

The boy took a deep breath, then said in a rushed whisper

"My name is James, and my sister's is Delilah"

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

Song: We are the People, Empire of the sun.

_We lived an adventure, love in the summer._

_Followed the sun till night, reminiscing other times of life._

_For each every other, the feeling was stronger._

_The shock hit eleven – got lost in your eyes._

_I can't do well when I think you're gonna leave me,_

_But I know I try._

_Are you gonna leave me now?_

_Can't you be believing now?_

_Can you remember and humanise,_

_It was still where we'd energised,_

_Lie in the sand and visualise, like it's, 75 again._

"My parents are dead. And if you're my brother, so are yours." I said to James, my magic barely restrained "I don't know how you know so much about me, but, listen, I_ saw_ them die James. And they aren't coming back."

He looked at me with something akin to pity, then moved over to my side of the carriage and hugged me.

The move was so unexpected that I didn't really know how to react. I wasn't angry; this was perhaps the first act of kindness I'd experienced since that fateful night Tom Riddle had come to visit,

"You haven't even _met_ your parents yet, Dilly, those people were just, well, replacements. But you're with us now, and we _will_ take care of you"

"Dilly?" I asked, repressing my laughter at his big speech

He shrugged "Well it's that or Dill, Lilah, Dee, Deli, Deelee-"

"Dilly's fine" I said quickly, giggling, before he got too carried away.

He smiled. "I always wanted to meet you; my parents wouldn't let me, of course. But still….the sister I never knew, eh?"

I grinned back at him "My brother from another mother"

He seemed quite surprised "Hey! That rhymed!"

My laughter at his ignorance of the Muggle world was interrupted by the low rasp of the carriage door opening, a boy no more than our age stood awkwardly in the frame, he was tall, with black, chin-length, wavy hair and grey eyes, he spoke, in a low, husky voice.

"Hey James, can I sit- _Holy crow_! Are you guys related or what?"

James laughed and gestured to the row of seats opposite us "Remember the Muggle sister I told you about? Turns out she wasn't Muggle at all!"

"Are you serious?" He asked incredulously, flopping down on the seat and examining me with curiosity.

"No" said James "I believe you are"

I looked from laughing James to the grimacing boy and back again. "What?" I asked the boy, since James seemed incapable of speaking.

"My name's Sirius Black" He glanced at James and sighed "That joke gets less funny every time you hear it" He deliberated for a second, still looking at James-who currently had tears in his eyes- then added "Well, for normal people"

I laughed along with James, not to the same extent, though still making Sirius's grimace more pronounced.

Soon after, a boy with straw coloured hair and brown eyes, accompanied by a rat faced brown haired eleven year old, knocked on the carriage door.

"Sorry" Said the blonde "Everywhere else is full"

"Bunch up" James said to me, and I did so, squishing myself into the smallest space possible right up near the window.

"Thanks" Squeaked the brown haired boy "My names Peter Pettigrew" He looked nervously around at all of us, and, for some reason I couldn't place, I distrusted him.

"I'm Remus Lupin" said straw hair after he sat down "How the hell did we manage to fit four people in here?"

"Five" corrected James, pointing at me "Though I guess she doesn't really count"

"Hey!" I yelled, hitting him on the arm a little harder than intended "Big things come in small packages"

"I'll say" He replied, cradling his arm "You sure can pack a punch!"

We all laughed, though we stopped when we heard the carriage door slide open _again_, earning a groan from me and Sirius who were squashed against the windows.

"Err, can I…?"Asked the boy, who was sallow faced and pale, with a mop of greasy black hair covering his even darker eyes.

"Hmmm….This could require some brainpower" I mumbled, slipping off the chair

"Hey!" said James "Where you going?"

I rolled my eyes at him, and disengaged his arm from my wrist "Breathe in and out James, I'm not committing suicide"

With that I sat on the floor, threw my hands up in the air and said "Ta-da!"

They all rolled their eyes except for the pale boy, who nervously sat down in my vacated seat, twiddling his thumbs and looking around.

"Wow, lot's of brainpower there, Lilah" sniggered Sirius

"Dilly" I corrected, then turned to the most recent extension to our group "What's your name?"

"S-Severus Snape" He stammered, turning a slight pink and fiddling with the frays on his robes.

The carriage door slammed open yet again. Causing _all_ of us to groan

"Shot-not floor" said Remus

"Anyone know a locking charm?" Asked Sirius, half-hopefully

But no-one groaned louder than Severus, who was practically howling when he saw who was at the door.

A tall girl, presumably in the year above us, with platinum blonde hair and green eyes stood tauntingly before us, smirking at Snape

"Why hello little _Snivelus,_ I heard you were on the train," Severus, if possible, went even paler. "What's the matter? Mummy doesn't love you?"

I stood up faster than the eye could catch "Get out" I said in a voice that was dangerously low

She turned to me "And who's this? _Snively's_ little whore?"

I rushed at her and slammed the door shut, her on the other side, practically shaking with rage

"Hey, Dilly, calm down, it's okay" Said James in an alarmed tone, but before I could reply, the door wrenched itself open again

"You did _not_ just do that" drawled the girl, drawing out her wand threateningly

"Actually I did. Hey, Watch. I'll do it again" her mouth popped open to speak, but I slammed the door in her face and retreated down to the floor, taking out my wand in case she tried to break in again.

The boys were howling with laughter, even Severus had a small smile on his face.

Evidently she heard this, because she didn't come back again.

"Did you _see_ her face?" Gasped Sirius, slapping me on the back a little harder than necessary.

I turned to Severus "Who was that anyway? Just so I know who I'm up against"

Severus smiled "Rita Skeeter, She lives down the road from me…"

I smiled back at him "You owe me Severus"

He grinned harder; it made a dramatic change in his appearance "You can call me Sev"

I smiled and turned around, joining in the re-enactment of my fight with Rita skeeter.

Much, much, later, after we'd changed into our robes and the trolley lady had been past (James had bought half her sweets), the train began to slow

"Ooh" I exclaimed "Are we there?"

"I think so" replied James, if a little nervously.

Finally it ground to a halt, the smoke temporarily filling the cabin as we filed out one by one.

Just as I was about to leave, Severus grabbed my hand.

"Thanks" he said simply, but when I tried to reply he was gone.

**xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx**

Song: Full moon, The Black Ghosts.

_When the thorn bush turns white that's when I'll come home,  
I am going out to see what I can sow,  
And I don't know where I'll go,  
But I don't know what I'll see,  
But I'll try not to bring it back home with me._

Like the morning sun your eyes will follow me,  
As you watch me wander, curse the power that be,  
'Cos all I want is here and now,  
But its already been and gone,  
Our attentions always last that bit too long.

Ooh ooh,

Far far away, no voices sounding, no one around me, and you're still there.

Far far away, no choices passing, no time confounding, and you're still there.

In the Full moon's light I listen to the stream,  
And in between the sounds I still hear you calling me,  
But I don't know where I am,  
And I don't trust who I've been,  
And If I come home how will I ever leave?

_  
Ooh, ooh_

I stared at the rowboat before me, wondering what the test to determine my house would be when I got to the castle.

It was four to a boat and James, Remus, Peter and Sirius were together, James giving me an apologetic look as he clambered into his raft, soon disappeared into the mist. But now it was my turn.

Since we were the last off the train, me and Severus would get to hog a boat all to ourselves. I can't say I was too happy about this, since I'd much rather be with James, but it was better than getting into a fistfight with Rita Skeeter.

I hopped into the boat, Sev following. I found myself wondering idly about what _would_ happen if I got in a Muggle fight in a boat, and before I knew it I'd disconnected all my senses, continuing my train of though it blissful innocence.

I came to with a jolt as soon as I realised I'd cut myself off. When I opened my eyes Sev was standing above me, and I was absolutely drenched. I kicked out instinctively as another volley of water hit me, breaking something, though I wasn't quite sure what it was since my vision was clouded with water

"S-Sev!" I spluttered angrily, dragging my wet hair out of my face

"Sorry! Sorry!" He said anxiously "You went all distant, I was poking you and it was like you couldn't feel me!"

"That's because I _couldn't_ Sev! Jesus Christ!"

"B-b-b-b-"

I sighed "Don't worry, I can't be stuffed to explain it right now, but I will tomorrow if you remind me"

He nodded guiltily and sat back down; twiddling his thumbs in just the same way he'd done on the train.

I felt water around my feet and looked for the source at the same time Sev gasped

"Oh, no" he mouthed, and I realised with a start where all the water was coming from.

Somehow, when Sev had thrown the water at me, I'd managed to kick a hole clean through the wood of the boat. But what I couldn't understand was why Sev was looking at me like it was the end of the world.

"_What?_" I asked incredulously

"What?" He gaped "What? I'll tell you _what_! There's a freaking giant squid down there somewhere, there's a hole in our boat, its bloody freezing and we don't know the spell to stop us drowning!"

I sighed dramatically at him "Always the pessimist, huh Sev?"

He pinched his nose between his thumb and forefinger and closed his eyes in exasperation. "I don't think it's physically possible to be optimistic in this kind of situation"

I rolled my eyes at him "Well, I do. For one, you have me in the boat, second, I guess you haven't read _'Hogwarts, A history'_ because it states quite plainly that the giant squid is actually harmless, and, thirdly, I _can_ mend the hole. So shove over and let me see."

He stared at me in incomprehension "Impossible"

I held my hand out to him "Five galleons says I can?"

"Deal" he answered, then lent back and crossed his arms as I inspected the hole.

I was relatively easy to heal since it was a clean hole through, and not splintered and mangled as I'd expected it to be. Sev obviously didn't think so, because he handed over the money without saying anything, though, if I was being honest I'd say he looked a bit frightened.

Finally we reached the shore and stepped out, staring up at the humongous castle with adoration.

A stern looking lady wearing a tartan beanie who was named "Professor McGonagall" was directing the first years into the school, constantly reassuring students that the test would be relatively easy.

I caught up with James and asked him which house he wanted to be in

"Gryffindor, if I have a choice. What about you?"

"I don't really know," I answered, "Though I guess I'll want to go where you're going"

We shut up once we reached the 'great hall'. There was obviously a reason for it's naming, and it was quite easy to guess what it was.

In other words, it was freaking massive.

There were great, glass windows and _huge_ stone columns. Five amazingly long wooden tables adorned the floor, decorated with what I'm assuming were house colours, save for the last, which was obviously the teachers place.

The roof by far was the most spectacular.

Actually, you couldn't really see the roof at all, instead it was enchanted to look like the night sky, it had been done very well and it felt like the room just opened up to the stars.

On a stool, at the front of the room, lay a battered, hideous, pointed witches hat.

_Mrs Toad wouldn't even let that in the house. _I found myself thinking as McGonagall ushered us towards it.

As I watched, a tear opened in the middle of the hat to resemble a mouth, and it said quite clearly,

"_Oh, you may not think I'm pretty,_

_But don't judge on what you see,_

_I'll eat myself if you can find,_

_A smarter hat than me._

_You can keep your bowlers black,_

_Your top hats sleek and tall,_

_For I'm the Hogwarts sorting hat,_

_And I can cap them all._

_There's nothing hidden in your head,_

_The sorting hat can't see,_

_So try me on and I will tell you,_

_Where you ought to be._

_You might belong in Gryffindor,_

_Where dwell the brave at heart,_

_Their daring, nerve, and chivalry,_

_Set Gryffindors apart;_

_You might belong in Hufflepuff,_

_Where they are just and loyal,_

_Those patient Hufflepuffs are true,_

_And unafraid of toil._

_Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,_

_If you've a ready mind,_

_Where those of wit and learning,_

_Will always find their kind._

_Or perhaps in Slytherin,_

_You'll make your real friends,_

_Those cunning folk use any means,_

_To achieve their ends._

_So put me on! Don't be afraid!_

_Don't get in a flap,_

_You're in safe hands, though I have none,_

_For I'm a thinking cap!"_

Avery, Rafe, was then quite roughly pushed into the hall by professor McGonagall, and forced to sit on the stool with the hat nearly covering his eyes.

"SLYTHERIN!" The sorting hat screamed after a second of thought, making Avery jump and run over to the cheering table.

"Black, Sirius" was then called. I watched nervously as he strode over to the stool, swallowing hard to keep the lump out of my throat.

The hat had barely even touched his head before it screamed out "GRYFFINDOR!"

A boy behind me gasped, and before the shock had even really registered on his face it was overcome by anger, he looked absolutely, positively and completely livid_._

I turned quickly to the front and began to zone out. The test wasn't nearly as exciting as I thought it would be, and once or twice I found myself disconnecting my senses, only to snap them back on again and stand up straighter.

The only names I really registered were, "Lupin, Remus", "Pettigrew, Peter", "Snape, Severus" and "Potter James" all of whom were sorted into Gryffindor, with the exception of Sev, who went to Slytherin.

"Sparrow, Delilah"

I jumped, I realised I'd been zoning again because her voice sounded like it was coming from inside a long tunnel; I shook my head to clear it and walked nervously over to the hat.

I pulled the ugly thing over my head with little difficulty, it went over my eyes and the whole world turned the greasy brown of its interior.

"_Ahhh_," said a little voice in my ear, "_Brave, yes, bright too, and cunning, yes. Very, very, cunning. You have powers I have not seen before, and would do well in all the houses, except maybe Hufflepuff, there's nothing average about you. But where to put you?"_

I closed my eyes and thought as hard as I could "_Gryffindor_, _G-r-y-f-f-i-n-d-o-r_"

"_Gryffindor, eh? Are you sure? You could do well in Ravenclaw, or Slytherin_?"

"_Gryffindor_" I thought again "_GRYFFINDOR_"

"_Ouch, no need to shout!!!! Well then, if you're so sure, I will do as you wish, _GRYFFINDOR!"

He spoke the last part aloud, and I hopped down off the podium and took a seat next to James, who beamed at me and clapped enthusiastically, as did Remus, Sirius and peter.

But I had more urgent matters on my mind; Sev was looking glumly at his food, not answering the Slytherins questions and completely ignoring Avery who was trying to interest him in a game of exploding snap. I shot him a sympathetic look, but turned back to the front when professor Dumbledore began to speak.

"May the feast, _begin_"

Suddenly food appeared on the golden platters, turkey and ham and chicken and pork, gravy and pumpkin juice, jacket potatoes and vegetables. Even though I knew this would happen (Having read '_Hogwarts, a history_'), I was still majorly surprised at the sheer quantity of it all.

But I still didn't eat.

Even when dinner finished and desert was served, featuring my favourite boysenberry pie. I hadn't eaten at will since the death of my parents, Mrs. Toad would sometimes look up from her newspaper and scream at me to eat, and when I refused, forcing it down my throat, but no one was forcing me now. And I hadn't eaten for at least three days.

"Dee-lee?" Questioned James, using one of my more annoying nicknames

"Your not eating." He stated bluntly.

"Well noticed" I answered dryly, turning the golden fork over in my hands

"Why?-" he begun, but was mercifully interrupted by Dumbledore, who clapped his hands and ushered us up to bed.

I hardly even noticed the winding hallways, or the large ornate paintings with people moving about inside them, I was so tired it wasn't funny, and I tend to zone out when I'm fatigued.

"_Dilly_. Dilly! Oh for gods sake, DILLY!" I heard a voice shout; I came to with a start and blinked rapidly "Sirius?"

He sighed "Your have to go up to the girl's dormitory"

"What!" I exclaimed "Hell no, I don't know anyone"

He sighed again "Well you can't sleep in our room"

"Watch me" I answered and heaved myself up the staircase on the right.

I sensed more than saw Sirius roll his eyes "Stubbornest person alive" he muttered.

The boys dorm was huge, with massive, four poster beds and heavily cushioned window seats

"Lilah?" Said James wonderingly "What are you-"

"Don't ask" I interrupted, and settled down on one of the window lounge things, even _I_ was a bit squished; I brought my knees up to my chest and made myself as small as possible

"Y'know" said Remus "I don't think there's any one else in the entire universe who could've done that."

But I didn't hear him.

I was already asleep.

**A/N**

**I'm not sure if I'm going to continue this story…..**

**You know the drill. Pretty green button. Very eye catching. Click it and make it's day!**


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